1) I was not in jail.
2) I was not abducted by aliens.
3) I did not become a hermit in the Northern Canadian wilderness.
I was actually gone to Camp Good News for Christian Youth In Action Training School. Basically it's a place where around 120 kids from all over come to learn about how to minister to children. This was actually my 5th time going to CYIA, but it was my first time being a leader and cabin supervisor.
Being a cabin supervisor meant that I led nightly devotions, and on the last night we got to talking about seeking God's will for your life and how that looks. It got me thinking about all of the things I wish I would have known when I was in their place, beginning to think about what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I told them a bit about my college story, and it seemed to be an encouragement to some of them, so I hope it is for you too! I wish I could say my story is perfect, but really it's in the imperfections that you see God the most.
My story actually begins with CYIA 6 years ago. On the 4th day of the program, you go out and find strangers on the street to share the Gospel with. From Day 1 I fell in love with this "Open Air Evangelism." I absolutely love it, and year after year I was told that I was pretty good at it, and was told year after year that I should be a missionary. Eventually I just assumed that it was God's plan for my life. I never really asked Him, but hey, I mean these people seemed to be in tune with God's will for my life, so I figured I would go with it. My answer to the question "What to you want to be?" was "missionary" for a few years, but something just didn't feel right. While I loved doing it, at the end of the day I never pictured myself spending the rest of my life doing it.
That's when I decided to bring God in on my planning process. Listen, the people who told me to be a missionary were great people who know me pretty well and they may have thought that they had my best interest in mind, but God has them beat by a mile. He not only knows the number of hairs on my head, but He actually knows my future (Jeremiah 29:11). Once God got in on my planning process, things changed drastically. I started listening to His soft whisper above the deafening roar of those around me. It was then that I realized that God was not calling me to full time missions, but wanted me to minister to others in a "secular profession."
It was scary to think about how many people I would disappoint by going into *gasp* psychology, but at the end of the day the most important people in my life did not care what field I went into, only that I was following God's call. So often we are scared to pursue what we really feel led by God to do, simply because it's not in the plan that others have for us. It was tough to swallow all of the "Oh..."s and "Hmmms" of disapproval that became all too common. Over time however, I began to have confidence in my career choice, because I knew that God, the Creator of the universe, had hand-picked the path for me.
Fast forward a year and it was August 2014. I was laying in my bed panicking about Cedarville. What had I gotten myself into? I mean there was NO WAY that I could do it. Honestly, the finances were just not working out properly. I remember talking with my parents and we came to the conclusion that if God truly wanted me at Cedarville, He would provide a miracle. It's pretty easy to say that, but learning to trust in Him, well that was a struggle. My parents and I were praying earnestly for direction, and when we got to school we found it. I remember my Dad looking at me and saying, "Taylor, I just have a peace that this is where God wants you." By seeking His plan, and trusting that He could overcome earthly barriers, we were able to find peace in the midst of chaos. What seemed impossible now seemed perfectly planned.
Once I got out there and settled in, I was scared out of my mind. Not for the first few weeks, I mean it was like a vacation. But after the first month... I mean how was I supposed to survive so far away from home? Why was I in Ohio again? Seriously had I lost my mind? Then a dear friend reminded me that I hadn't simply gone there on a whim, I had followed God's direction. God provided strength and on I went. Even when it seemed impossible to stay on time with all of my assignments, He helped me push on. When I was worried that my grades wouldn't be where I wanted them, He provided that extra .01 to push them ahead (seriously it's amazing). Time and time again He helped me succeed beyond my own human ability.
Finally springtime rolled around which meant that financial aid packages became available. I saw mine and my initial reaction was to laugh. Like seriously, I don't think they really can assume that my family will give THAT MUCH money to my education. While I initially laughed, I soon cried. Quite a bit actually. No money = no Cedarville. So I started looking at other schools that seemed to be a "better choice" but nothing seemed right. I spent a few days looking, but mostly I prayed a ton. I couldn't understand why God would drag me out to Ohio, only to desert me after one year. I mean hello, I had made connections, I had voted for next year's class officers, I had gotten a Tour Guide spot, I was pretty locked in. This was where I wanted to stay. I know that God usually speaks in a soft whisper, but this time He was shouting, "TRUST ME!" So I did, and slowly the obstacles because more manageable. The old saying is trustworthy "If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Anyway I guess that all of this is to say that sometimes finding God's will is a bit like using a GPS. Your GPS has your final destination in mind from the moment you begin, but unless you are perfect, as you get going things start to happen.
Sometimes you try to listen to your friend who SWEARS that there is a short cut up ahead, so you take the turn. Occasionally they are right, but more often than not you end up going down a dirt road for 5 miles. Then, you do what you should have done all along and listen to the GPS which gets you back on track. It's so easy to just buy into whatever ideas others may have for your future. Even if people think they have your best interest in mind, they may not really know. The only way to truly know is to trust the original Source.
Sometimes you get Maple Street and Maple Ave confused and well, that's never good. So what do you do? Well, you stop and reorient yourself and then carry on your merry way. Sometimes we start off on the wrong path, but there is no shame in humbling ourselves and admitting our mistake. God will provide direction but you have to be willing to look at it.
Sometimes your GPS is a bit outdated and you keep going in circles. So after your trip, you plug it in to your computer and get it up to speed. While you might think you know God's will enough to follow it perfectly, you should still check back in often to stay up-to-date.
Sometimes it seems like you are going down an impossible road, and you begin wondering if your GPS has Portland, Maine and Portland, Oregon confused. You wonder how you could possibly make it. After all, it's scary to trust a piece of technology. But in the end you make it. It's scary to trust God, but just like a GPS doesn't just tell you your destination and then go blank, God doesn't just leave us to wander. If He is really calling you to go somewhere, He will remove any obstacles in your way.
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