See You Later Alligator

This week was the week before I left for college. This week was a week of goodbyes.

There are some people that I cannot help but have a smile stretching from ear to ear as I say goodbye to them, because I know that the next time I see them, we’ll sprint full speed towards each other, and one of us will likely end up on the ground, while the other points and laughs hysterically. We'll hang on to each other a little longer than normal, and we'll be speechless with delight.

Even if I only get to see them for a couple hours, once a year, for the rest of my life, I know that it will be like we never left each other.

There will be no awkward pauses in the conversation, and when I finally look at my phone, I will probably realize that waaaay more time had passed than I had thought. I will also probably remember that I was supposed to be somewhere 20 minutes ago, but instead of sprinting out of the door, I will just put my phone down and keep chatting for even longer (not like this ever happened). I will make leaving awkward, and they are the ones that I hug and say bye to 10 times before we actually part ways. We can never run out of things to say, and usually we leave only to continue texting for 3 hours after. These guys are in it for the long haul. 

Overall, I realized that maybe our friendships wouldn’t look quite the same as they did when we lived minutes, rather than hours away, they were still by my side. I would still surprise them with visits, gifts and facetimes (and they would do the same). At college, when things got hard, they were still the ones I texted, called and wrote 5-page letters to. They were the ones I put in the effort to stay in touch with; the ones that I talked to when I should have been doing more “important” stuff like eating, sleeping or studying. They were my "text for 4-hours because I don't want to study for finals" friends. They are the ones that make my heart skip a beat every time I hear that they are in trouble, and with my friends that's pretty often. 

These are the forever friends.

On the other end, there are some people that I've hugged a little tighter, because I knew that as soon as I let go, our relationship would never be the same. Our story was a long one, but unfortunately I knew  that our story would end as we parted ways for college. It's like watching a sunset: you can enjoy it all you want and really soak it in, but you know that eventually it will sink into the hills and you will have to move on. They may have been a best-friend for a time, but they are not the type of best friend that will help you take on “the real world.” They are the ones that you will always see when you look in your review mirror, but never when you look in your passenger seat. 

No matter what, they shaped you into who you were, and someday they will probably be your answer to the security question “Childhood best friend.” And sure you may get together on breaks, but in the end you will sit by them on your couch, just like you had hundreds of times before, but this will be different. You will be speechless, and you will wonder what happened. It’s simple: sometimes when you take two people out of the same environment, you take them away from the only thing they ever really had in common.

It’s okay to not stay best friends with someone forever.

That won’t change all of the memories you've had with them. It won’t change all of the things in your life that they helped you fix. It won’t change the times you cried on their shoulder, laughed on their floor and sang in their car. Just because a friendship changes, doesn’t mean the memories are destroyed. If anything the memories will grow to mean more, just like you learn to appreciate something more when you know it is “limited edition.”

Sometimes I will get a random text from someone, and it will remind me that for a time we were really close, and even if we don’t still see each other, I know that we still think about each other. Even if I don’t intentionally try to keep them in my life, I know that there is no getting rid of them, and honestly, I wouldn’t want it any other way. They are the "see in the grocery store 10 years later and talk for an hour" type of friends. You'll always remember them fondly, until the day you can't remember anything anymore. In the scrapbook of life, they fill the first few pages. 

                                                                                              

Now before I start getting hate mail (okay I'm exaggerating) about how depressing this is, I just want to clarify that well, I didn’t lose all of my high school friends when I went to college. This blog isn't only about me, I write some from what I've experienced, some based on the things I see, and other stuff on what I get to help other friends through. While I did lose some pretty close friends when I went to college, I also strengthened what already existed.

If anything I learned who I really wanted to have in my life, so my friendships only got better, like pruning a shrub helps boost the quality of the living flowers. Some friendships grew stronger because we both went away, matured, and came to appreciate each other more.

"Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver, one is gold."