This semester I took a course where one of the assignments was essentially to break a bad habit (I told you in my last post that psych majors tend to have touchy feeling assignments). Unfortunately it didn't take me too long to come up with a VERY long list of all of the bad habits that I could break.
When I really thought about it, I realized that a lot of the habits I needed to break (getting distracted, going to bed late, missing out on what was around me) all had to do with me depending on my phone too much. So I thought about it (and prayed about it) and I knew that my ultimate goal would have to be to spend less time on my phone.
I needed to go extreme. Like delete all social media apps off of my phone and log out of my accounts extreme.
No Instagram.
No Facebook.
No Pinterest.
No SnapChat.
As one of my friends affectionally called it: I went Amish for a month.
You know the saying, "You never know a good thing until it's gone?" Well, you really never realize how important something is in your life until you can't have it. Like a best friend trapped in the woods with no cell service, or the sweater you left in your closet at school (not like this has EVER happened to me or anything) you only realize how much you rely on something when you don't have it.
The first week was weird, because I was still going on my phone often, only to realize that I couldn't do anything except *gasp* call and text on my phone. I would grab my phone out of habit, only to realize that I couldn't get distracted on it like I had in the past. Then week 2 came around and I noticed that I was carrying my phone a lot less (to the initial frustration of everyone who tried to get a hold of me). But that wasn't the only thing I noticed:
I also noticed people on the way to class that I would have normally blown on by, head down, eyes glued to my screen. I talked to friends, strangers, professors, lost guests and myself (maybe I shouldn't admit that). Anyway the point is that because my eyes were on my screen less, I was able to notice those around me, and I was actually having FACE-TO-FACE INTERACTIONS... who would have thought?!
Not only was I noticing people more, I was spending more quality time with those closest to me. No longer did I want to eat lunch alone (since I had nothing to distract me) which meant that I went out of my way to eat with my friends. Over time, I simply stopped bringing my phone to the table, and started finding out the stressers, joys, prayer requests, jokes and aspirations of others, from them, rather than their profile page. I started being more intentional about investing in others, simply because I was focusing on my real friends rather than my Facebook friends.
The month went by, and I wasn't itching to have the social media back.
I'm sure I missed about 5 proposals, 2 pregnancy announcements, 49 recipes, and 6 "for sale" ads. Not to mention the many, many, snapchats that people were disappointed that I would never see. No wedding planning was being done, and my Pinterest boards were a wreck.
But I no longer missed it.
No, social media isn't a terrible thing (after all you probably got here from my link on Facebook) but I had given it an unhealthy position in my life. After some reflection since my purge I realized some hard truths about the place that my phone held in my life:
I would wake up and pray for God to use me that day to build His kingdom, yet I'd spend my day looking at my phone, rather than at the people He had
placed around me. I'd spend more time communicating through pictures,
than through words. I gave a man-made invention more of my time than I
would give to the people around me, the very ones who ACTUALLY could
love me back.
So what's changed?
Well, as far as the little habits, I've decided to keep most of the apps off of my phone (which is why I will never get your snapchats, although I'm sure they really are hilarious). I log out of Facebook on my laptop so that it's more effort the next time I want to go on, usually I'm too lazy, so my notifications go unchecked. I rarely check Instagram during school, and Pinterest is left untouched during the semester.
But it wasn't just the little things that changed. As silly as it is to say: that month of no social media, really changed me. Overall I'm more present in my own life. I'm less plugged into technology, and more connected to those around me. I became a better friend, student, tour guide and Christian. All because I gave up social media for a month. All because I trained myself to use my phone less. All because I took the time to realize my priorities and refocus my attention.
That's what I realize that I needed all along: a wake-up call. I needed to realize how out of line my priorities were. Is the phone of reality ringing in your life? Are you going to ignore it forever? I'd challenge you to answer it, after all, it might just change your life.
Monday, 28 December 2015
Saturday, 12 December 2015
The Pieces are Finally Fitting Together
Another year older and another year wiser.
I've heard the phrase my whole life, although I remember it best from the Rugrats All Grown Up! theme song. That is one of those silly things that has stayed with me far past it's expected expiration date, sorta like how I remember how to get to Dragon Land a little too well...
Anyway, as this year of life comes to a close, I thought I'd share a little bit of the wisdom that I've learned during it. This post is for you, you middle-schooler trying to fit in. It's for you, you high school senior wondering what the future looks like. It's for you, you college student wondering when life will really start. It's for me, because I was and am, searching for me.
Middle school was awkward. That's a given. Then there's high school, which is just weird. Then there's college, which is just hard. I always just counted down from one to another. I couldn't wait until REAL LIFE started, you know the one where I am finally handed this 3,000 page volume that tells me exactly who I am, how I fit into this world and where I'm going. I expected life to be like a book, but instead, I got handed a puzzle, one of those ridiculous ones where all of the pieces are the same shape and there is no picture on the front cover.
You see, that picture is in the pieces the whole time. Maybe it's some beautiful mountain landscape, sprinkled with trees turning the red, orange, and yellow that only fall can bring. Or, maybe it's a tall palm tree, bent in just the right place to allow the leaves to gently kiss the water as the breeze blows through. You don't know what exactly it will look like, but you know it'll be great.
But it takes work. No amount of staring at the box will cause the image to appear: you have to take all of the pieces out and get to work. You might start with the border, then start piecing together the large pictures. Slowly, overtime the pieces are filled in. All along the picture is there, but you just have to find it.
My pains, triumphs, lessons, journeys, and all of the items from my past are sitting unassembled in the box called my life. Thrown in is a wide variety of pieces that I can only imagine; those make up my future. This box is full of the pieces that will shape who I will become. For years I stared at the puzzle, hoping that someday it would just be put together. I wanted to just be so sure of my life, you know skip past the heartbreaks, missteps and mistakes. I wanted to wake up one day and say, "Wow, would you look at that! Over night everything fell into place and now I see my life exactly how it should be." The night never came, and I figured that that I should probably take another look at that stupid puzzle box just glaring at me.
I'm so glad that I finally threw all of the pieces of my life out on the table before me and started sorting through them.
I started with the borders, you know the things about me I'm pretty sure of, my faith and my academics. Over the past few years I've pieced together the family part of my puzzle, and college has helped me work on the career portion. This year I had to do a little reworking on the friends section, because sometimes what you think is a good fit, isn't really the BEST fit. I've had a couple of people come into my life who were able to give a little insight, but for the most part, this is a puzzle that I'll have to do on my own.
So what does this mean for you? Well, I know someone, somewhere is reading this, who just feels lost. They thought they finally had their life together, only to realize it was not what it appeared. They were so sure of who they were, until they were rocked to their core. Whatever stage you're at, let me just say this, clearly you aren't supposed to know who you are just yet! The day will come when things become more clear, but only after a little work, some heartbreaks and more than your fair share of mistakes.
So stop cheating off of the puzzles of the people who you think your life is supposed to look like. Stop trying to let someone else be the one that completes your puzzle. Stop cheating. That will get you no where, TRUST ME. Simply look at the task before you. Work with your pieces. It'll seem to be at a stand still. That's when you stop the task before you and do something else. Then come back, you'll have a little bit more of direction.
Make that puzzle. Live your life. Piece together who you are. You can't go wrong. You can't possibly mess up the puzzle so poorly that it becomes unrecognizable, well unless of course:
You never try to put the pieces together.
P.S You know the best part about the puzzle? I for sure get to put in the last piece.
I've heard the phrase my whole life, although I remember it best from the Rugrats All Grown Up! theme song. That is one of those silly things that has stayed with me far past it's expected expiration date, sorta like how I remember how to get to Dragon Land a little too well...
Anyway, as this year of life comes to a close, I thought I'd share a little bit of the wisdom that I've learned during it. This post is for you, you middle-schooler trying to fit in. It's for you, you high school senior wondering what the future looks like. It's for you, you college student wondering when life will really start. It's for me, because I was and am, searching for me.
Middle school was awkward. That's a given. Then there's high school, which is just weird. Then there's college, which is just hard. I always just counted down from one to another. I couldn't wait until REAL LIFE started, you know the one where I am finally handed this 3,000 page volume that tells me exactly who I am, how I fit into this world and where I'm going. I expected life to be like a book, but instead, I got handed a puzzle, one of those ridiculous ones where all of the pieces are the same shape and there is no picture on the front cover.
But it takes work. No amount of staring at the box will cause the image to appear: you have to take all of the pieces out and get to work. You might start with the border, then start piecing together the large pictures. Slowly, overtime the pieces are filled in. All along the picture is there, but you just have to find it.
My pains, triumphs, lessons, journeys, and all of the items from my past are sitting unassembled in the box called my life. Thrown in is a wide variety of pieces that I can only imagine; those make up my future. This box is full of the pieces that will shape who I will become. For years I stared at the puzzle, hoping that someday it would just be put together. I wanted to just be so sure of my life, you know skip past the heartbreaks, missteps and mistakes. I wanted to wake up one day and say, "Wow, would you look at that! Over night everything fell into place and now I see my life exactly how it should be." The night never came, and I figured that that I should probably take another look at that stupid puzzle box just glaring at me.
I'm so glad that I finally threw all of the pieces of my life out on the table before me and started sorting through them.
I started with the borders, you know the things about me I'm pretty sure of, my faith and my academics. Over the past few years I've pieced together the family part of my puzzle, and college has helped me work on the career portion. This year I had to do a little reworking on the friends section, because sometimes what you think is a good fit, isn't really the BEST fit. I've had a couple of people come into my life who were able to give a little insight, but for the most part, this is a puzzle that I'll have to do on my own.
So what does this mean for you? Well, I know someone, somewhere is reading this, who just feels lost. They thought they finally had their life together, only to realize it was not what it appeared. They were so sure of who they were, until they were rocked to their core. Whatever stage you're at, let me just say this, clearly you aren't supposed to know who you are just yet! The day will come when things become more clear, but only after a little work, some heartbreaks and more than your fair share of mistakes.
So stop cheating off of the puzzles of the people who you think your life is supposed to look like. Stop trying to let someone else be the one that completes your puzzle. Stop cheating. That will get you no where, TRUST ME. Simply look at the task before you. Work with your pieces. It'll seem to be at a stand still. That's when you stop the task before you and do something else. Then come back, you'll have a little bit more of direction.
Make that puzzle. Live your life. Piece together who you are. You can't go wrong. You can't possibly mess up the puzzle so poorly that it becomes unrecognizable, well unless of course:
You never try to put the pieces together.
P.S You know the best part about the puzzle? I for sure get to put in the last piece.
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